…fifa? fafa? feufa? er, no – phew…

…with that foreign fifa now about to be put into us ‘receivership’ (?) by the us, new name in the offing?…

But before getting there, brief digressions, sort of – just as in football.

As the US DoJ continues on its its Worldwide Crusade of Planetary Law and Order, the BBC reports a stunning news item that should cause some tittering among the modest, tea and cucumber sandwich set. One hopes that sense of propriety (and pity) prevails and prompts reconsideration of the decision, Fifa crisis: Jack Warner ‘to reveal all despite fears’.

Dame Judy Dench et son homard we can accept, but, surely, there are standards, Frère Jacques. Then, again, given his tenure at FIFA, even as football fans, we have studied enough geometry to accept his hyperbolas. Or is that typical hyperbole of our engaging, even if a tad garrulous, Jack, bon compain de Andrew Jennings?

As the US DoJ’s canary continues to chirp, in countries beyond its borders is any one still baffled at how a country, so utterly disengaged from football, a country known only for the existence of some esoteric species called ‘soccer moms’ could have hosted any serious football tournaments – unless that business of market size and revenue, and interest in the sport be damned, and strong ‘incentives’ played the determining role, the ‘deal clincher’? And that opportunity to chant lustily to the world, ‘USA! USA! USA!’, even if the team is not on the pitch. Which raises the question, how could have some week-end ‘soccer coach’ in the US, now canary, risen so high in so important an organisation as FIFA?

And, as the US MSM continues to prattle on about another US victory against ‘bad guys’ out there, they would surely have informed its soccer crazy fans that Chiellini is out of the match this week-end? What match? Chiellini? What percent knows of Suárez – if we exclude the ‘immigrant’ community and some two percent?

And, as public service to the US Crime Busters, The Guardian, among others, notes that the Football Association of Ireland (FAI) was ‘compensated’ to the tune of €5m for that blatant hand-ball by Thierry Henry that kept the country out of the World Cup, not even the consolation of being the 33rd team. Then, again, what percent of the people in the country that hosted World Cup, and soon, Copa América Centenary (!!!), even know what this notorious hand-ball thing is all about? And, the Planetary Crime Busters, to soon issue more arrest warrants? Interpol on the hunt? A map! A map! Ireland? France? Thierry for robbing Ireland? And, is Post-Aug13 Putin thus implicated, ergo, a US DoJ ‘Red Card!’: No 2018 World Cup in Russia?

Now that the US DoJ has on the backfoot, not the too-big-to-fail banks inside the US, but the not as lucrative, and not yet lucrative to the US, FIFA, it should not be too long before it renditions FIFA into receivership in the US?

Thus, arises the question: New name for FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association). One irreverent observer proposes, FAFA (Fédération américane de Football Association), which is a ‘laugher’ since ‘américane’ would encompass Canada, Mexico, Guatemala, …. Another, more correct but still inapt, FEUFA (Fédération des États Unis de Football Association). However, given the impending new owner, the fancy french lingo can be dropped as those words would mean not a thing. The proposed name for the new US acquisition? Simply, National Soccer League, NSL, even if the world says football – in logical contrast with the US National Football(???) League, NFL? Phew!

(Et d’ailleurs, right in their very ‘backyard’, how could they have missed even this – to think, taking away the ‘soccer fields and balls away from kids…‘ -and food – poor Hondurans could have had in that impoverished land?)

…er, can the us private-sector jail system construct enough fifa jails in time? or will it be guantánamo ‘with the worst of the worst‘?…