war, what is it good for? laughing all the way…

Only in the US is there rich humour in War – on defenseless countries.

Have you heard the joke about the missing what’s its name? Comic relief for those exceptionalists who visit death and destruction on ‘enemies of civilisation’. This classic joke remains ever fresh, as posted by FAIR as the peerless George W. had them rolling in the aisles with his timeless ‘those weapons of mass destruction must be somewhere’. And the event at which the comedian had them ‘rolling in the aisles’? The Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner, as reported by FAIR:

“Those weapons of mass destruction must be somewhere,” Bush cracked while showing slides of administration officials searching the White House. The routine elicited laughter from the audience of politicians and media figures.

Of course, to see it is to ‘believe’ it with its consequences:

A minor detail: Over one million Iraqis were slaughtered, millions injured and maimed, millions displaced and homeless – figures had to be independently estimated as the extent of the slaughter and destruction had to be hidden. Infrastructure (water, sewage and electricity systems) deliberately targeted and completely destroyed very early in the joke. A mere 4,801 US and its allies dead. For the generously underestimated cost of US$1.4 trillion – Stiglitz and Bilmes have estimated the actual costs will be upwards of US$6 trillion. Shock and Awe for TV and its ever fascinated US viewers. In the US, Iraq’s fate is a joke for most of its politicians and media personalities.

Not to be outdone as a comic, we have a Nobel Prize Winner, very destitute in accomplishments in anything including peace but rich in empty rhetoric, bringing the house down at another Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner. As noted by two bloggers at Common Dreams.

“Jonas Brothers are here, they’re out there somewhere,” President Obama quipped as he looked out at the packed room. Then he furrowed his brow, pretending to send a stern message to the pop band. “Sasha and Malia are huge fans, but boys, don’t get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You’ll never see it coming.”

No. You cannot make this thing up, as the consternation of the bloggers comes through:

Equally shocking is the ratio of civilians to militants killed, which Middle East scholar Daniel Byman estimates at ten to one.  It is a cruel joke indeed for the people of Pakistan that the U.S. military finds it acceptable to murder 10 innocent people for every Al Qaeda or Taliban operative killed.

But, again, as the saying goes, one video is worth

Yet, where information on the wanton death and destruction inflicted by the forces of civilisation is rarely, if ever, available, such information is immediately available with impeccable precision where the ‘bad guys’ are involved. The compliant, facilitating corporate media bombard the credulous with ‘facts’ of ‘torture, slaughter and atrocities’, even the number of Syrians killed by Chemical Weapons of the ‘bad guys’ total 1,429 exactly – further proof positive of the unreliability and uselessness of the corporate media elite.

If we still survive those killing killer jokes, a neat ‘j’accuse’, summary of amateurish duplicity and demonic destructiveness, should provide some respite, though with its own moments of comic relief. The indicting title brings to mind the policy of napalming and firebombing of Vietnamese villages – to save them, Syria, We need to bomb it to save it.

And rising in the top ten jokes of the week is the new one from the US Secretary of the State who called the President of Syria, a ‘thug’ and a ‘bully’. In his joke he forgot to mention that President Assad had jeopardized the safety and life of a head of state when he bullied his minions into denying access to their air space to the official airplane of the President of Bolivia. Now that would have had them truly rolling in the aisles.

Another contender from the irrepressible Secretary of State is, France as the ‘oldest ally’. La même France that the US, in gratitude, had helped to defeat those disrespectful Viet Minh who had falsely believed that Vietnam belonged to the Vietnamese. Clearly, sense of timing of the eloquent Secretary of State can be much improved and benefit from the comedic gifts of Edward Snowden and from some familiarity, even nodding, with a modicum of history (France of Lebanon and Syria fame) – Freedom Fries are now French Fries.

Still missing is the one about Assad handing out Viagra to his troops. Time to send in the other clown? Just when we thought the world could not be made more unsafe, in comes a team of incomparable ineptitude, stubborn ignorance and utter boorishness, from ‘prestigious’ universities, mind you – with an unnatural proclivity to kill and destroy and faithfully serve the interests of the elite class.

Exceptional export of the exceptionalist class? War and destruction (for resource capture or control) – with its made-in-the-US profits from doom: money, money, money. And since the British are NOT coming, well founded statements of war crimes and crimes against humanity will become less subtle.